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.. hey, I've been there. Who could understand betterthan me? Anger because ... why didn't you tell me, bitch?A while later I said as much, after I had listened to all the pain. Isaid something like, "If you had told me earlier, we could have gonethrough this together". I kept it as gentle as possible, despite therage. I even thought at the time that I meant it."I wanted you so much, but what I really wanted was to be you," Nicksaid.How do you respond to that?"But I love you, I really do," he added. "I want us to be togetherforever."We cried together. But what he was really saying was that ourrelationship was sort vicarious sex change. He thought that he couldavoid transition by somehow living it through me. And it turns out, heis not alone. Nor am I alone as the wronged transwoman. I was remindedthat one of the pioneers of the transgender movement, April Ashleymarried just this kind of man. At her divorce trial the judge observed:"Mr. Corbett was apparently envious of his. Just the way that she touched me and caressed me spoke of her love. Her calves slid up the back of my legs as she spread herself wider for me, and they came to rest upon the back of my thighs. She moved in time with me as her pelvis flexed up repeatedly, keeping to our slow, unhurried pace. I also discovered for the first time what they really meant when they called this the horizontal dance. Our hips controlled the tempo and our bodies the beat. We were connected; both of us were on the same wavelength, the same page.I had never experienced anything even remotely close to how I was feeling at that moment. My spirit was dancing with hers as our bodies gave each other unselfish pleasure. I planted a trail of soft sensual little kisses up from her collar bone to her jawline and from there over to her mouth as our eyes met again. Our bodies moved as one as we undulated together in a rhythm as old as time.Abby’s gorgeous blue-gray eyes stared into my soul, and they shimmered with.
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